Friends. I did not think I would have to discuss or even touch this subject at all. It is not because I do not have any friends or I have problem with the word. It’s just let’s say either too overrated or too underrated. Maybe, just a slight maybe it’s a little touchy on my end.
I have met various types of people, as I’m sure you have met quite some yourself. I was disappointed with one of my close friend. We have been friends for around 10 years and I thought we understand each other pretty well. I guess it was not entirely true. We as human certainly need other people to accompany us, for us to interact. We basically need social interaction from time to time. We usually click to those people who share similar traits and characteristic to us, so that it will be easier for us to connect in certain area. My close friend – let’s say her name is Lisa – shared a pretty similar characteristic and even somewhat our way of handling things and maybe certain events in our life. Unfortunately enough people change. Whether they like it or not, whether they realize it, people do change. This doesn’t mean that they have to change so tremendously into a totally different person, no. People change to adapt to certain situation, to adapt to something in their life. The change can be good, or it can be bad.
Ten years ago when I was younger, I supposed I was more caring or perhaps, it was a little too much that it suffocate my friend and she ran. We literally stopped talking for one year, until I contacted her again afterwards. Apparently, she didn’t like me nag her and put too much effort to bring her to a better road – it safe to say she was a little messy back then. I didn’t change immediately after we got separated, no. I still cared enough but less. Years passed by and I guess one event lead to another and as age increased as well, I become more mature, in my opinion. I am more accepting in some aspect of my life. You see, the fact that Lisa and I are having a long distance friendship this has cause that we don’t spend much time together in real life. I won’t deny I have had my bad days or years that I was in the dark and being all emotional and negative, but I have changed. Everyone can be negative from time to time as long as they do not let it consume them. I think it’s fair to have such emotion; we’re all still human after all.
So, what is the actual problem? Ever since I was a child, I’m not picky with friends. But then I know whether I can click with them or not, and subconsciously selecting those layers of normal friends, for fun only friends, gaming friends, close friends, etc. It is not saying that I am picky, I’m sure. Everyone click with us differently and not everyone can be our close friends. So, it has been twenty years I survived making friends. I believe I can decide who I want to be close with. I have my weakness and soft spot of course, and I do not mind for my older close friends to remind me to be cautious at times – even parents do that. But you see, the decision is in my hands. as a friend you can give me information and reasonable cause, but you can’t keep pushing on to be cautious of who you gonna be friends with, cause believe it or not all of us don’t have the same luck or some call fate to meet these various people in our life.
The point of all these are; be a good friend, be there when you friend needs you, listen more, and only talk when you must. Nobody likes anyone to rain on their parade. When you told them your concern, you have to believe that your friend listened to you, even though they might not immediately do what you asked them to do. Rests assure that they considered what you said and took it into their account. They must have their own reason to not immediately listen to what you told them. Because you have to understand, that, they are the one doing their life, not you. No matter how good your intention is, patience is a virtue. Time will prove if whatever you’re nagging about is true, don’t you think? Maybe it’s too late, maybe it’s not? Maybe then you could prove yourself as this good friend of them.
Despite the disappointment on Lisa (from high school). My Junior high school friends (around my childhood neighbor) has been pretty amazing and putting quite a smile and laugh to my face. You see, everyone is really different. Even the way they make friends and the way they maintain their friendships. Some love to share everything and nag or be nagged at. Some, on the other hand loves to keep it casual and share when needed and just be happy together. Sharing happiness and show affection to each other. We are basically adults, I’m pretty sure no matter how often people share their problem, unless they ask you bluntly: ‘what do you think I should do?’ they just want you to listen to their story and hug them. They know their own answer, long before they told you the story.
We all need people who can be beside us and perhaps guide us or just be fool together. Especially, when we do not have any romantic relationship or spouse, friends can help us to go through our tough times. Even our parents can be our friends. Having friendship is not just because you like each other and you feel comfortable with each other so you can do fool things to each other. You also need respect. You need to respect your friends and they need to respect you. No matter how close you are with your friends, you still handle a separate life. You need to respect each other decisions. The only thing that can differentiate a normal friends and good friends are you can comfortably blunt saying them what you like and what you don’t. To be quite honest, I think people missed this element sometimes. They do whatever they like to their friends because they’re ‘close’. Respecting your best friend is a way of loving them in a mature way to know what you should say and what you should know and it will reflect on how you treat them as a human being.
Anyhoo, I’d like to take this special occasion to thank my junior high friends whom has a good heart to put this little party for us (my and another friend has a very close birthday date). It’s lovely and I had a great time.